Stupid Truth!
by Ilvhstry
Summary: Tina and Lexxa are two average girls or slightly insane girls living in a normal world. Of course, Truth has a way of changing things... BEWARE minor spoilers
1. Truth Acts Up

**Hey guys! So…new story! It's about time…I only have two…one of which hasn't been updated in months, the other is on hiatus…but it's okay. For this one I have another person helping me so I don't get writers block and I don't get lazy! This person is…*drum roll* Okay seriously! Where is that drum roll coming from?!**

**But, anyway, the person that's doing this with me goes by A Wandering Storyteller on this site. This is a collab, so she's doing half the writing. I think that you'll all be able to tell when I'm writing… if you can't it's going to be when the story is more centered around Lexxa. Oh, and by the way I'm going to give credit where credit is due, most of the idea around this story came from the amazing mind of A Wandering Storyteller. I'm just going to call her Wandy now. The only way she'll know is if she reads this… MUAHAHAHA! But most people don't like reading author's notes…**

"Mom! Dad! I'm home!"

The girl walked into her home, picking up the note on the front table.

_Tina,_

_Work called us in. Had to go on short notice. Make sure to do your homework, don't wreck the house, don't open the door and get to bed at a decent hour. Dinner's in the fridge. And keep your brothers out of trouble!_

_Love,_

_Mom and Dad_

"Weird, that hasn't happened before… ah well!"

She let out a sigh as she flopped onto the couch. Humming 'Brothers' to herself, she pulled out her laptop and started up.

"Finally, a bit of time to…"

"MAIL TIME!"

Tina jumped off of the couch, falling unceremoniously onto the floor. She glared at the offending device, which sat triumphantly on the coffee table.

"You win this time, Steve."

She sat up, beginning to sift through her email.

"Junk… junk… junk… yay, story alert! Save that for later… Lexxa sent a message... What's this?"

The new email stuck out like a sore thumb. Unlike the others, it consisted of one word. And no address.

She opened the message, her green eyes scanning the screen.

_Hello Tina,_

_I believe you know who I am. I am god. I am all. I am you._

_I am Truth._

_Now, I believe you've wanted to go on a trip for some time. So I'm going to send you on a trip, free of charge! Aren't I nice? I even made sure you'd have a friend, too._

_I hope you appreciate this. No one else has gotten the privilege, you know. I'll be there soon._

_Truth_

Tina stared at the email, baffled. "There's no way he can be… Nah. He's just wants to be a jerk. Well, two can play at that game!"

She opened a reply, her fingers flying furiously across the keyboard.

_Truth, or whoever you are:_

_What the hell are you trying to get at? Do you think I'm an idiot?! There's no way you can be Truth. He exists in an anime, for fuck's sake! So get off your high horse and come down to take your meds, buddy. 'Cause you're obviously high or insane to think that you're Truth. In fact, I bet you can't even prove that you're Truth._

_Have fun in the Funny Farm!_

_Tina_

Satisfied, she clicked 'send', watching the message speed off to its recipient. She stood up, stretching.

"Well, that takes care of that…"

A knocking on the door stopped her mid-speech. She groaned, making her way to the door. The knocking became more frantic the closer she got to the door.

"Hold your horses! I'm coming, I'm…"

She opened the door, screaming as black arms reached for her.

"Me and my big mouth!"

Lexxa sat in front of her TV flipping through channels.

"Hate that show… hate that show… hate that show… aw! I used to like that show! Now I hate it…"

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. Lexxa got up and turned on ninja mode, moving stealthily across her living room floor in a crouching position. When she got to the door she peeked cautiously out the peep hole. Seeing that it was the mailman, she opened the door.

"Here's your mail!" he said with a smile as he handed Lexxa various letters.

"Thanks. Hey, did you hear about the turtles?"

"Yeah. It's a shame they can't live in their own boxes anymore. See you later!" The mailman turned and left.

Lexxa shut the door behind her as she sifted through the mail.

"Bills, bills, bills, bills, from Uncle Bill, bill for Uncle Bill, bill, what's this?" Lexxa held up a letter curiously. It was addressed to her, but nobody talked by actual mail anymore. I mean, what are we, in the twentieth century? That's so twelve years ago.

Lexxa opened the letter to see somebody had done that cliché cut-out-letters-from-magazines thing. It said,

_Hello Lexxa, _

_I believe you know who I am. I am god. I am all. I am you._

Lexxa stopped reading for a moment and thought of who this could be. Aloud she asked, "Jim Carey?" and continued reading.

_I am Truth._

"I was close…"

_No, I believe you've wanted to go on a trip for some time._

"No I haven't…stupid Jim Carey."

_So I'm going to send you on a trip, free of charge! Aren't I nice? I even made sure you'd have a friend, too._

_I hope you appreciate this. No one else has gotten the privilege, you know. I'll be there soon._

_Truth_

"Stupid Jim Carey…sending fake letters…it's not like Truth knows how to work mail and stuff! Or am I thinking of cats?"

There was another knock at the door. Lexxa started to do her ninja thing again but heard a voice from the other side yell, "Just answer it!" Lexxa stood, baffled by the fact that the person could detect a ninja, and answered the door.

When she opened the door black arms reached out towards her. The only thing that Lexxa could manage was to yell, "You're not Jim Carey!"

**So… what do you guys think? **


	2. Kicking Some Arse

**Forgot to do this earlier. Wandy and I do not own FMA. We wish that we did, but we don't. **

Tina moaned, rubbing the back of her head.

"Yeesh... What was I on last night? I must've been sugar high or something, 'cause I swear I saw..."

The ground moved beneath her, sending boxes of all sized tumbling down.

"AHH! I've been hit by alien boxes! Get them off, get them off!"

The boxes stopped falling, giving her a chance to remove herself from danger.

Lexxa then woke and started karate-chopping Tina while yelling, "I DO NOT HAVE YOUR FRUIT!" After waking up a bit more, she finally realized that the person she was hitting was not Jim Carey from her dream and that it was, in fact, simply Tina.

"Wait! You're not Jim Carey! Why do you want my fruit?!"

Tina rubbed her head again, "One, I don't want your fruit. I have my own! Two' I am not of the male gender, so of course I'm not Jim Carey. Three, YOU'RE A NINJA! AWESOME! Four, where are we?"

"Wait, wait... I can't count that high." Lexxa paused for a bit and counted on her fingers.

"Okay I get it. One, good. It's my fruit. Two, don't blame me! It's Jim Carey! Three, I am? Four, we're... on a train? When did this happen?"

Tina shrugged, "You seem like the ninja type. And a train?! Great, my first time on a train is after being abducted by a psycho. Why are you blaming Jim Carey?"

"I blame Jim because it's always his fault... always... and how'd we get on the train? The only thing I remember is a guy who wasn't Jim Carey knocking on my door. Where are we? When are we? Did we travel through time? Do they have a cure for cancer? Why won't you answer me?!" Lexxa started crawling about the compartment as though searching for a way out.

"Hey!" Tina stopped Lexxa's search, "Exit will be on the walls. Even though it would be cooler for it to be on the floor. I just got here, so I can't tell you what's up with this place, but I don't think we're in Narnia. And I don't think I've introduced myself. I'm Tina! And... someone knocked on my door too..."

Lexxa looked at Tina for a moment before yelling, "It's a conspiracy, man! The government's out to get us! Sound the alarms! Notify the doctors! We need a specialist up in here!"

"As much as that makes sense, I don't think so... hey, did you see black arms when you opened your door?"

"Come to think of it... yes... it all makes sense now! The black arms are symbolism for our depression of ordinary lives! And where they took us, the train, is symbolic for our need for adventure!" When nobody said anything, Lexxa said, "Sorry... I just went all English-major on you. It was probably Truth."

"Stupid Truth! He sent me a creepy email, saying he was sending me on a trip..." Realization hit her like a dodge ball to the face, "And that he was sending me with a friend..."

"He sent me the same letter! Only I thought that it was Jim Carey. But enough about him! We need to act now! Hurry! Mount your gallant steed and let us ride off into the sunset!" Lexxa looked around and realized that they were on a train, and that there were no horses around.

Slowly she said, "Or we can just find a way out..."

"What about over there?" Tina pointed to a door on the wall. "Has to lead somewhere. Maybe we are in Narnia..."

"We're hijacking this train!" Someone in the distance shouted.

"Or maybe not."

Lexxa looked at the door, then back at Tina.

"That was perfectly timed."

Lexxa then opened the door and peeked out.

"It was, wasn't it?"

Tina peeked out the door next to Lexxa. She gasped, "Is that..."

"Yes it is." Lexxa was staring that the back of one of the seats. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"I've never seen one up close before!" Tina looked at the seat in awe. "And there's the Mexicans and the Elric brothers."

Lexxa looked past the seat and saw the Mexican. She then said in a growly voice, "I love Hispanic men!"

"Let's introduce ourselves then. Hey, Mexican dudes!"

The terrorists turned around, guns in their hands.

"GUNS! Quick Lexxa, initiate plan potatoes!"

Lexxa jumped from their hidey hole and karate chopped one man in the neck, causing him to fall. She looked at the other guy and asked, "You got to ask yourself one thing... do I feel lucky? Well? Do ya, punk?"

While Lexxa distracted the other man, Tina snuck behind him and flipped him to the ground.

"Yeah, we didn't think so."

Ed looked at the two strange people.

"What the hell just happened?" he asked aloud.

"You just found two girls that are better at your job than you are," Lexxa replied evenly.

"Lexxa, just because it's true doesn't mean we have to say it." Tina grinned, extending her hand, "Hiya shorty! I'm..."

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORT!" Ed went to attack her.

Tina laughed as she stepped to the side, momentum sending him into a wall.

"Hey!" Lexxa yelled. "That's not scheduled until later!"

Ed looked at Lexxa like she was insane.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Lexxa looked at him slyly and said, "You know."

"What?!"

"Sorry Lexxa, I couldn't help it!" She turned to Al, "And I'm sorry about your brother. As I was saying, my name's Tina, and the ninja's Lexxa. Nice to meet you!"  
Alphonse shook her hand, still unsure about the two girls.  
"Hi! I'm Alphonse and that's my brother Edward." Al pointed at Ed, who was finally getting up on his feet.

"We know who you are," Lexxa said.

"Are you stalkers or something?" Edward asked, panicked.

"You know it."

**So just so you guys don't think I'm really **_**really**_** strange, the "I love Hispanic men!" thing was a reference to an improv show. **


	3. Hughes Doesn't Want Candy

"Well, as much as I want to continue this lovely chat, there are Mexic... I mean terrorists to beat up, yes?"

Lexxa nodded and said, "To the Batmobile!"

Edward looked at her and asked, "Batmobile?"

"Oh... we don't have a Batmobile? Okay..."

"Who wants to walk on the top of the train!" Tina grinned.

Lexxa jumped up and down.

"I do, I do!"

Edward cast Lexxa a sideways glance and muttered, "Crazies... crazies everywhere..."

"And we wouldn't have it any other way. To the top of the train!" Tina looked around the car.

"...How do we get up top?"

Lexxa jumped.

"My plan failed."

Edward just looked at the people that he was now stuck with. The only thing he could think was, "These people must not reproduce..."

"Hey Ed, know a way up?"

Edward was still thinking. Alphonse, ever the sensible one, (sensible? In this group? HA!) shook Ed a bit.  
"Brother?"

Ed came to his senses, "Oh, right. Al, stay here." He looked at the two girls reluctantly, "The way up's this way. Follow me."

Everyone followed Edward, who took them up to the roof as promised. Once on the roof, Lexxa found it necessary to point out that there was bird poop up there. And, of course, Tina felt the need to scream something about aliens and conspiracies. Edward, sick of hearing the girls' random bickering, turned around.

"That's it! I've had enough of your—"

A tree popped up out of nowhere, knocking Ed off the roof of the train.

"Ooh!" Lexxa exclaimed. "More perfect timing! Excellent!" She then ducked before a different tree could hit her. Tina dodged the tree, laughing to her heart's content.

"See Ed, this is what happens when you yell at us. Something hits you. Next time it might be a shoe..."

"Shut up!" Edward yelled while standing. Lexxa looked at him like she didn't understand.

"Don't look at me like that, demon!" he yelled.

Lexxa burst out into fake tears shouting, "Don't yell at me!"

Alphonse turned to his brother and looked at him like he didn't know what to do.

Tina glared at Ed, "You made Lexxa cry! Meanie!"

"I didn't..." Ed was hit across the face with Tina's shoe.

"I tried to warn you Ed. I told you what would happen if you yelled at us!"

"Brother!" Alphonse yelled.

"What's wrong with you?!" Ed yelled at Tina. Lexxa kicked Ed in the face.

"Shut up about Tina!"

Suddenly, a Mexican head popped out of a trap door and looked at them.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Planning on how to kick your arse," Lexxa said smoothly.

Tina kicked the guy in the face, sending him back from wherever he came from.

"Stupid Mexican. Trix are for kids!"

Ed rubbed his face, "What are Mexicans, anyways?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Ed shook his head and said, "No. Hey Lexxa, shouldn't Mr. Picture be here somewhere?"

Lexxa slapped Ed.

"What was that for?!" he yelled.

"Do. Not. Break. The. Fourth. Wall!" she yelled back, slapping him in between each word.

"The what?"

Hughes came out of the train and sat down.

"'Sup?"

"I didn't say his name. For all they know, it could be Slender Man!"

Hughes looked at the odd scene in front of him. A girl with... purple and brown hair? was slapping Edward silly. Alphonse looked a bit lost, and the other girl extended her hand towards him.

"Hi! I'm Tina, and the girl slapping Ed is Lexxa. It's nice to meet you, sir."

Lexxa looked at Hughes.

"Heya, dude. Want some candy?" Lexxa held out a candy bar.

"This is no time for candy!" Ed yelled.

"Brother..."

Lexxa gave Ed a glare.

"It's always time for candy."

Hughes looked at Lexxa, then at Ed, then at Al, then at Tina.

"Uh...the threat is mostly gone anyways…"

"Aw, we did basically nothing?" Lexxa asked. "I wanted to kick some arse..."

"You could always kick Ed's," Hughes offered helpfully. Lexxa looked at Ed.

They all went back into the train.

"You know, I feel like we forgot someone..."

Suddenly, Tina was sent flying across the room. Behind where she stood was a large man in a cloak.

"Ouch..."

"Aw HELL naw!" Lexxa yelled. "Hold my earrings! Shit's about to go down!" She handed Ed imaginary earrings and went up to the man.

Tina stood up, brushing herself off. "What the hell Calvo! I didn't deserve that, you stupid Mexican!"

He looked at the girls strangely, both of them advancing towards him. "What are you talking about?"

"LET'S GET HIM!"

Ed just looked at the two while they tackled the man that the shorter one had called Calvo.

"This is going to be a long day," he muttered.


	4. Prank Series 1

**So this is a different type of chapter. Occasionally there will be little random chapters that will involve Tina and Lexxa pranking various characters. This shall be known as the Prank Series. Enjoy!**

"Okay, so you're Lexxa and she's Tina, right?" Edward was trying to figure out everything he could about the two girls.

Lexxa nodded. "I'm Lexxa. She's Tina. You're Edward. That's a chair." Lexxa pointed at a chair.

"A very nice chair at that. And don't forget Lexxa, that's Al." Tina smiled at Al, making him wonder what she was doing.

They were at the train station, the Mexi— I mean terrorists were captured and the day was saved.

Later we found the odd group sitting at a table for lunch. Lexxa was goofing off with her glass of water.

Tina picked at her food, looking far-off.

"I'm bored! Nothing exciting happens here..."

She saw Lexxa messing with her glass.

"That reminds me of a prank I know..." She grinned madly, "Lexxa, I know what we're going to do today!"

Lexxa looked at Tina and realized what she was saying. She looked at Edward and smiled. Then she took her right hand and laid it flat on the table. She balanced the water on it.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked.

"Oh, you know. Killing zebras."

"It's not anything someone like you can do, anyways," Tina said. "It requires perfect balance and such."

"Hey!" Ed snapped. "I have perfect balance!"

"Oh, yeah?" Lexxa asked.

"Yeah!"

"Then you can balance it on two hands?"

"Of course I can!"

"Prove it."

"Fine, I will!" Edward put his hands on the table. "Put on the glass!"

"Okay. You asked for it. Put them on, Lexxa."

The glasses sat on his hands, full of water. Tina grinned as she started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked.

Lexxa got up and walked away, too.

"Hey!" Edward yelled after them. "Don't leave me here! The water!" Edward looked down at his now confined hands. "I swear those girls will be the death of me..."

Tina was laughing hysterically, "That was great! Let's get someone else!"


	5. Tucker

**Warning! This one is a little darker than usual…**

A few days later, Ed, Al, Lexxa, Tina and Roy sat in a car.

"Don't you guys think it's a bit crowded in here?" Edward asked.

"Your mom's a bit crowded in here," Lexxa replied dryly.

"My mom's dead."

"Your mom's dead."

"Yes Lexxa, we all know that." Tina glanced at Roy, who sat next to her, "So, Fire Boy, mind telling us why you stuffed us all in a car? 'Cause if you're abducting us, I'll kick your ass."

"What did you just call me?"

"Fire Boy. Why, Mr. High-and-mighty, do you not like it?"

Roy cleared his throat, looking at the file in front of him.

"Edward and Alphonse need training if they want to pass the State Alchemist exam. So I'm taking you all to Shou Tucker."

Lexxa straightened up a little when she heard that name. Naturally she remembered it, how could she forget? The bastard had killed his own daughter and her dog and had the nerve to say it was in the name of alchemy. People like him deserved to die, to be killed. In that instant, she knew that was exactly what she was going to do.

Tina took a glance at Lexxa, nodding a bit. She knew Lexxa knew who Shou was, and there was no way either of them would let Tucker live. Not while they could stop it. But for the next few months, they'd both have to hide their hatred for the man. He was too important for Ed right now. After he passed his exam, though…

Then Tucker wouldn't be safe.

They arrived at the Tucker estate, jolting Tina out of her thoughts. They all piled out of the car, standing outside the mansion gates.

"It's not only you four. Mr. Tucker has a four year old, so be polite." Roy's gaze wandered to Lexxa and Tina.

Lexxa realized that she wouldn't be able to kill Tucker if they were suspecting it, so she acted like she was normal.

"Why'd you look at me, Flaming Pony Man?" she asked dauntingly. "I'm as innocent as that dog over there!" She pointed at a dog that was running towards Ed at full speed.

Tina laughed as Ed was tackled by Alexander.

"Alexander! You're not supposed to do that!"

Nina.

Tina looked at the little girl, trying to withhold tears. There she was; brown braids, blue eyes. How could Tucker ever think that turning her into... No. She couldn't think about that now. For now, she'd focus on the present.

"Well, he's certainly a big fellow, isn't he?" Tina asked nonchalantly.

Nina nodded as if it was the most important question in the world. Lexxa smiled.

"She's so innocent," Lexxa thought. "I'll never understand how that evil man could justify what he did to her." Lexxa shook her head as her thoughts took a dark turn. She couldn't think of that now, her facial expression would give her away. No, she had to just be in the moment.

"I want a turn!" Lexxa yelled as she jumped on Ed.

"Ah!" he yelled. "What are you doing?!"

"Good," Lexxa thought. "At least he's keeping his language clean around her."

Tina laughed, waving at Nina and Tucker.

"Hi! My name's Tina! What's your name?"

"My name's Nina!" The little girl smiled, "You have a pretty name, big sis."

She smiled, kneeling down to her level. "Thank you Nina. You can call me big sis if you like. I don't mind."

"M'kay, little big sis."

"Get off of me!" Edward yelled at Lexxa, who was still sitting on him. Ignoring the pipsqueak, Lexxa looked at Nina and said, "Nice to meet 'cha, Nina. I'm Lexxa. And this," Lexxa pointed at Ed, "is Edward."

"I'm Alphonse," Al said politely.

They were all ushered inside by Tucker. The house was a mess, with books scattered everywhere. Tucker began to pick them up.

"I'm sorry about the mess. We lack a woman's touch here."

Tina used this sentence to glare at him openly.

Lexxa saw Tina glaring and had to cover it up with a lie so that it wasn't obvious why she was glaring.

"Women's liberation!" she yelled. Tucker looked at her. "Women's liberation!" she yelled again.

"What about it?" Tucker asked.

"It goes well with hot sauce!" Lexxa proudly announced.

"You know, women aren't the only ones who clean. That's sexist!"

Tucker looked at the girls oddly, but shook it off.

"I'm sorry. I've been all out of sorts lately."

Nina walked up to all, looking up with awe as she picked up his hand. "Hey Daddy, bigger brother's clothes are funny, there like our pots and pans. Aren't they heavy?"

Tina felt a bit sorry for poor Al. It was all just so sad. It made her want to run up to him and give him a hug.

Al laughed a bit. "That's okay. Bigger brother's strong."

"You know that I'm older, right?" Ed asked Nina.

"You're not older. Older means bigger, and he's bigger!" Nina pointed at Al.

Tina stifled laughter as Ed's face contorted with anger.

"Now Ed," she said mockingly, "you know that this is true in most cases. And besides, we're not here to talk about your lack of height."

Tucker was staring at Al, causing him to freak out a bit.

"I'm sure you'll have time to talk to the boys about their appearance. For now, just take them as they are."

Tucker nodded, "Nina, why don't you play in the courtyard for awhile. I'm sure Alexander's lonely."

Nina looked at them, hope in her eyes. Tina smiled, kneeling down to Nina's level.

"I'll go play with you outside. Does that sound good?"

"I'll come, too!" Lexxa said cheerily. Nina nodded happily and led them off while Tucker took the brothers further into the house.

Later that day, they all sat at the table to eat dinner. Ed and Al had studied all day while Tina and Lexxa played with Nina.

"Edward, making any progress in your studies?"

"Yes sir, some. But there's so much I don't know!"

"Yes, the more steps we take forward, the longer the path is ahead."

Tina shook her head, "No, it just seems like the road won't end. And then you end up running into a tree."

"Ooh, I hate it when that happens!" Lexxa exclaimed. Everyone at the table looked at Lexxa and Tina as though they were a different species.

"Me too. It's annoying! Silly magical trees..."

Nina looked at Al, who hadn't done anything with his food.

"Aw! Bigger brother isn't eating his dinner!" She held out a bread roll, "That won't do! You have to eat to get grown up!"

Ed and Al looked a bit shocked.

"I think I'm plenty..." Al looked to his brother, who just looked at the table sadly.

Al took the roll from Nina, "Thanks. Wow, it sure looks delicious!" He lifted up his helmet, throwing the roll inside, "Mmm, it sure tastes great!"

"Good, now eat the steak."

Lexxa looked at Al and realized it would be nice if she helped him out.

"But if he eats the steak, then the pelicans won't land in Happy Town and snuggle with the giraffes!"

Lexxa's little story served its purpose and got everyone's attention off of Al and on her.

"Yeah, and we wouldn't want that! Don't worry, bigger brother will be okay. He's strong, remember?"

"Okay!"

The brothers looked at the two girls gratefully. Tina smiled, nodding at their unspoken thanks.

Later Lexxa and Tina were in their shared room together talking about their situation.

"I swear to God, that man is evil!" Lexxa was ranting. "Turning his daughter, _his daughter,_ into a chimera? What kind of psychological problems does this man have? He should be killed!"

"I know, but it'll have to wait. Ed and Al need him right now." Tina sighed, "I miss home. Sure, it's great here, but what's happening back home?"

"Probably the same things as usual." Lexxa shrugged.

"Maybe... You know, this isn't what I thought it would be. I thought it'd be a great adventure, and then we'd get to go home. But I don't even know if we can go home..."

There was a knock at the door and Lexxa went and answered it to find a man standing there holding a letter.

"Mail for Lexxa!" he said cheerily. Lexxa took the letter and said her thanks.

"It's from Truth..." Lexxa muttered moodily as she saw his name.

"What does that bastard have to say now?"

Lexxa cleared her throat and read aloud.

_"Are you enjoying your trip so far? I'd hope so. It took a lot of work for me to make this happen._

_By the way, your family and friends won't miss you. I've made some look-alikes take your place. They also know how to act just like you, so don't worry your pretty little heads about it. _

_-Truth"_

"Bastard!"

"That little son of a bitch! How dare that fucker do that to us! Ooh, when I find him, I'm gonna..."

"What's all the fuss about?"

The two turned to find Ed standing in the doorway.

"She's mad that I beat her at thumb war," Lexxa said, thinking quickly.

Tina fake glared at Lexxa, "I'm telling you, next time I'll beat you."

"Okay..." Ed slowly backed out of the room. Tina sighed as the door closed.

"Note to self: Don't yell about things like that here."

"Yeah," Lexxa agreed. "We can't use that thumb war excuse forever. Let's just try to get some sleep."


	6. Elicia

Lexxa threw a snowball at an irritable Ed.

"Stop it!" he yelled at her. Nina then decided it was the best time for her to throw a snowball at Ed.

Tina laughed as Ed was continually assaulted by snowballs. Creating one of her own, she directed it at Lexxa.

"Snowball fight!"

The five of them, Nina, Ed, Al, Lexxa, and Tina, threw snowballs at each other for a good half hour before someone new showed up.

"Ah!"

Ed, once again, was underneath a large dog.

"Ralph! Don't sit on people!"

Lexxa looked at the dog that was tackling Ed. It was a husky, and it was looking happily at a little girl with brown hair and blue eyes. She looked a lot like Nina, actually, but her hair wasn't in braids. Rather, it was down.

"I'm Amber!" the girl announced proudly to the group of people.

"I'm Lexxa!" Lexxa replied cheerily. "I speak English!"

"Hola, soy Tina! Hablo español!" Tina waved.

"What did you just say?" Ed asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Tina laughed at Ed's frustration.

Amber laughed at the two goofy ladies.

"That's Ralph!" she said pointing at the husky.

Tina smiled, "Well, it's very nice to meet you both."

Nina was talking to Ed and Al.

"What's that?"

Ed was drawing a circle in the snow. "It's a transmutation circle. If I have a wish, it helps make it come true. Watch!"

Ed put his hands on the circle, flowers growing in the middle.

"Magic flowers!" Nina giggled.

"Can I have some too?" Amber asked.

Ed looked at Amber and smiled a smile that reached his eyes.

"Of course!"

Ed made Amber a flower circle.

"Nicely done!"

The group turned around to see Hughes at the gate.

"Major Hughes!" Ed said, surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, we can't have you studying through your birthday, can we?"

"How did you know that? I haven't told anyone yet!"

"Ed, think about it. He's a major in intelligence. Where could he possibly get that information?" Tina said sarcastically.

"Aw, is our little Eddy the birthday boy?" Lexxa teased. She then raised her hand and yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIGH-FIVE!" which Ed returned with a smile.

"I'm here to bring you to your party, Ed."

Nina and Amber looked a bit sad. Hughes smiled. "Don't frown, you're all going! I can't throw a birthday dinner without his friends!"

The younger girls smiled, joy flowing off of them.

"Is there food?" Tina asked.

"Um...Yes?"

"GREAT! I'M IN!"

Lexxa rolled her eyes at Tina.

"Of course there's food! What else do you expect at a birthday dinner? A pharmacy?"

"Well, there was this one time... never mind. There are small children about. Shall we go?"

Later on, all of them were in the Hughes household. Hughes himself stood next to Gracia.

"Hello! I've heard so much about you!" Gracia said cheerily.

"Your stomach's a melon!" Ed said, astounded.

"Yes, it is." Mrs. Hughes laughed.

"Are you having a baby, Mrs. Hughes?" Nina asked.

"Any day now. There's a little fuss in my tummy that wants to come out. Do you wanna feel?"

"No!" Ed and Al jumped back.

"Babies," Tina commented. "May I, Mrs. Hughes?"

"Me too!" Nina and Amber said together.

"Well, go ahead."

"Hey Ed," Tina asked during dinner, "Why did you freak out when Mrs. Hughes asked if you wanted to feel the baby?"

"Um..."

"Are you a wimp or something?" Lexxa teased.

"N-no!" Ed stammered a bit, "I just think that it's gross!"

Tina laughed a bit, "You're such a baby!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too... Hey!"

Gracia laughed as she brought out the tea, "Who wants refills on her birthday tea?"

"I do, please!" Tina grinned, "Your tea is amazing!"

Suddenly, Gracia fell to the floor. Hughes ran to her side.

"Gracia!"

"It's here!"

"The tea?"

Gracia looked annoyed, "No, the baby!"

Lexxa went to Gracia's side and helped her to her bed. Ed and Al, on the other hand, were running around screaming, "SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY!"

Tina slapped Ed, which promptly stopped Al.

"What was that for?!"

"Don't panic!" Tina snickered a bit, then composed herself, "It'll be okay. Mr. Hughes, why don't you go get the doctor?"

"Of course!" Hughes dashed out the door without another word.

"Al, go get some towels. And Ed, get some hot water in a tub."

The boys stared at her.

"Well, get going!"

Meanwhile, Lexxa was holding Gracia's hand helping relax her.

"Don't worry, Gracia!" she encouraged. "You're doing just fine. And soon enough the doctor will be here to deliver you baby!"

Tina walked in, "The boys are getting towels and water."

"Thank you, both of you." Gracia then began to scream.

Ed and Al walked in, requested items in hand. Tina nodded.

"Good. Al, set the towels there and Ed, set the tub here."

Nina and Amber stood at the wall, unsure of what to do.

Lexxa walked over to where Nina and Amber were.

"Are you girls alright?" she asked. She had no idea what those girls were thinking.

"Is Mrs. Hughes gonna be okay?" Amber asked.

"She sounds like she's hurting a lot." Nina added.

"Can we help her at all?" They said together.

Lexxa thought for a moment and said, "You can keep Ed and Al from yelling. That would help a lot." Lexxa glared at the Elric boys.

"We're not yelling!" Ed... yelled.

Tina shook her head, "Yes you are. You just did. Now listen to Lexxa before I come over there and Duct Tape your mouth."

"Duct Tape?"

"... Just do as you're told."

Lexxa shook her head. "If I wanted unintentional yelling I could just talk to my dad..."

Tina glanced out the window, "Boy, the storm's getting bad out there."

Ed slammed his hands together in frustration, "Damnit Al, alchemy's the ultimate science! There has to be some way it can help her!"

"Little big brother?"

Ed's look of frustration went away as he looked at Nina. She had a hand in the water tub.

"The water's very cold."

As Ed's hands touched the sides of the tub, the water steamed and boiled.

Lexxa looked at Ed.

"Dude, alchemy's not the answer to everything. Sometimes you just have to let nature do its work."

"Brother, you used Alchemy without a circle! How'd you do that?"

"I don't know, I just thought about it."

Tina contained a bit of laughter, "Wow Ed. I didn't think it was possible to do Alchemy accidentally."

"Hey!"

"But Lexxa's right. Just be patient, alright?"

"Where is that man?!" Gracia yelled irritably from the other room.

Hughes burst through the door, the doctor behind him.

"Gracia! Are you alright?"

"Do you think I'm okay!"

"Ah, I love all this perfect timing," Tina remarked as she stepped out of the doctor's way. "Don't you, Lexxa?"

"Why yes," Lexxa replied happily. "Yes I do."

After a few more hours, the baby's cries could be heard throughout the house. Gracia held her baby girl, looking perfectly content. Hughes stood by her, tears coming out of his eyes.

"I can't believe she's so beautiful, Gracia."

"Aww! She's so cute!" Tina gushed over the baby.

Ed was still looking at Lexxa with a shocked and disgusted expression from when the baby came out and Lexxa remarked, "Lovely placenta, Gracia!"

Tina laughed at Ed's expression, "Ed, you should be used to this by now."

Gracia looked at them, "It's all thanks to you kids. I couldn't have done it without the other birthday kid and his friends."

Ed blushed a little and said, "All I really did was run around thinking that you were dying..."

Gracia shook her head, snuggling her child.

"You were right by my side."

"Ed, I do agree with your assesment of what you did today." Tina grinned.

"... Be quiet."


	7. Tina and Lexxa Tell Stories: Holy Grail

**So…this is yet another mini-series within a series. Isn't that exciting? Every now and then you can expect something like this where Tina and Lexxa are just telling stories that usually poke fun at things. And they shall henceforth be called, "Tina and Lexxa Tell Stories". Exciting name, right? Right? No? Okay….**

**By the way, we know we missed a lot of stuff and this may or may not be in order. Also, we modified some of this because, well, we're talking to kids. Just saying…**

**We do not own Monte Python. **

**But we DO own all the fruit in the world. *sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm***

Lexxa and Tina had decided to stay at the Tucker estate with Nina and Amber for a night. Why, you ask? Just because. That's why. Why must you be so nosy?

Anyway, they were just sitting around bored when Nina asked, "Can you tell us a story?" Lexxa and Tina looked at each other and smiled. Things were about to get interesting.

"Of course we will! Hmm, let's see..." Tina's grin widened. "Many years ago, there were two brothers."

"Like bigger brother and little big brother?" Nina asked.

"Yes, very much like them. The older brother was shorter, too."

The girls giggled.

"These brothers were sent on a quest," Lexxa said, continuing the story. "This quest was to find the Holy Grail."

"What's a Holy Grail?" Nina asked.

"Well, it's a grail, which is a cup, that is holy."

"And no one had ever found it before. So the brothers set out on their trusty steeds."

"What did the horsies look like?" Amber asked.

"Well, they didn't have horses. Instead, the younger brother clapped two halves of a coconut so they sounded like they had horsies."

The girls giggled again, causing Tina to smile.

"What were the brothers names?" Amber asked.

"The older one was Arthur, and nobody knew the second one's name," Lexxa said. "Let's just call the younger one Ferdinand."

Nina and Amber giggled at the younger brother's goofy name.

"Before they could go on their quest, they needed loyal knights to help them on their quest. So they went to a castle to find some help."

"However, they got no help at all there. The man that they found was standing on the top of a very large fort. When Arthur and Ferdinand asked to talk to their Lord the man, instead of helping, began yelling at them."

"So they built a big wooden rabbit outside the fort."

"A wooden rabbit?" Amber laughed, "Why a wooden rabbit?"

Tina laughed, "Yeah, it's pretty silly. They were gonna hide in the rabbit so that they could get into the fort."

"Did it work?" Nina asked.

"It would have, but they forgot to get in the bunny. So when the people in the fort took the rabbit, Arthur and Ferdinand were left outside."

"When the two realized their failure," Lexxa inserted, "they were very upset."

"They're silly," Nina said laughing.

"Yes they are, Nina." Lexxa couldn't help but laugh herself.

"So they gave up on the fort, traveling by coconut to find some help. They traveled through a forest, coming across a pair of fighting knights. They watched as a green knight fought against a black knight, the green knight defeated by the black one."

"Arthur, impressed with the Black Knight's skills, went up to him and said, 'You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.'"

"The knight said nothing. Arthur introduced himself, but the knight wouldn't say a thing."

"That's very rude." Nina said. Amber nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it is." Tina agreed. "Arthur, after trying to get help from the knight, decided to leave. Then the knight said, 'None shall pass.' Arthur asked to go over the bridge so he could continue his quest. The knight refused, and the two men began to fight!"

The girls gasped, "Who won?" Amber asked.

"Arthur beat the knight, fair and square, but the knight wouldn't give up. He continued to try and beat Arthur, with little success. So Arthur and Ferdinand left the knight behind."

"So now the two ventured into the woods where they came upon a very tall knight."

"The knight said 'Ni', and Arthur was scared."

"Why did that word scare them?" Nina said.

"I don't know. But it scared Arthur. These were the knights who say Ni, and they were to be feared. The knights ordered Arthur to find a shrubbery and bring it to them."

"What did he do?" Amber asked.

"What else could he do?" Lexxa replied. "He went into town and started asking for shrubberies. He came across an old woman who was prepared to give him one, but then she asked what it was for. 'The Knights who say Ni,' Arthur replied. The woman gasped and said, 'Never! We've no shrubberies here!'"

"So in order to try and find a shrubbery, they kept saying Ni to the old woman. A man came by, scolding them for doing that to a poor woman. 'My name is Rodger the Shrubber. I arrange, design and sell shrubberies.' Arthur bought a shrubbery from Rodger and went back to the knights."

"The Knights, however, were not satisfied. They wished for them to find yet another shrubbery. 'Not another shrubbery!' Arthur said. 'Then,' the knight said, 'when you have brought the shrubbery, you must place it here, next to the other one! Just a little more this way to create like a path...'"

"'Then, after you have found the shrubbery, you shall cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with...' The knights paused, 'A herring!'"

Amber and Nina broke down into a fit of giggles. Tina laughed a bit, then cleared her throat.

"Of course, Arthur thought this to be ridiculous, so he refused to do it. Then one of his men, Sir Robin, came up with three other men and found the knights who say Ni's weakness."

"What was their weakness?" Nina asked.

"Someone saying the word 'it'."

"Finding their weakness, they repeated the word over and over causing the Knights to back down."

"They escaped, going on to find allies for their quest. Once they did, they went to finally find the Holy Grail. After escaping the guardian at the mouth of the cave, Arthur went into the cave with his knights. They found some writing on the wall. Arthur called up Bother-me-not, who could read the language."

"That's a funny name." Nina and Amber giggled. Tina smiled widely as she continued.

"'It says that the Holy Grail may be found in the Castle of Aaarrrrgggghhhh.' Of course, no one knew what that meant. As they discussed where this castle could be, a large monster came up behind the group!"

"The men got scared and started running from the monster."

"They're wienies!" Amber exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Yes they are," Lexxa laughed. "The men kept running from the monster until it fell into a giant hole."

"They found the Holy Grail and brought it back to the fort to brag about their successful quest."

"The end," Lexxa finished. The young girls looked at her and Tina as though they didn't want the story to end.

"Sorry," Lexxa said sadly. "We have to go to bed."


	8. The Exam

"Those are great circles, girls!"

Al wandered into Nina's bedroom, seeing Amber, Nina and Tina sitting in a circle.

"What are you all doing?"

"Oh, you know, looking for purple gorillas." Tina laughed at Al's worried expression. "I was joking! We're drawing stuff."

"'Scuse me, Al," Lexxa said happily as she walked into the room. Then to Tina, "What did I miss?"

"Nothing much, just some amazing drawing skills! Just look at their work, isn't it amazing!"

Nina had drawn Ed, Al, Alexander, herself and a circle. Amber had drawn the entire group throwing snowballs at each other.

"They're just so talented! They'll be amazing artists!" Tina gave off the widest grin.

Lexxa looked at the drawing and hugged Nina.

"It's amazing!" she exclaimed. Al just looked at them then slowly began backing out the door.

Amber handed her drawing to Tina.

"It's for both of you!"

"Thank you Amber. It's great!"

Amber smiled a huge smile. Tina stood up, streaching a bit.

"You know, isn't today Ed and Al's test?"

"Oh yeah," Lexxa said looking around. "Do you think they left yet?"

"I don't know... let's go find out! You girls wanna come?"

"Yeah!" Nina and Amber jumped up and down in excitement.

"Then let's go find them!"

The small group of girls went in search of the boys. After a while of calling their names, though, Lexxa decided to get a little creative.

"Fartface! Where are you?"

"Shorty McShortpants! Are you there?"

"I'M NOT SHORT!"

"He's that way, come on!"

The group followed Ed's voice into a room where they found the brothers with books.

"Hey there, guys!" Lexxa said while she plopped onto the floor. "How's the studying going?"

"We're just refreshing on a few things before we go." Ed said, focusing in his book.

"I know you boys will do fine. Don't wear yourselves out." Tina looked at the clock, "In fact, we should go now."

Ed raised his eyebrows.

"We?" he asked.

"Yep! We're going with you guys!"

Ed groaned, his head hitting the desk. "Why? You can't go inside with me and Al."

"We'll be cheering you on outside, sillies! Now come on, you have a test to take!"

"Then I hope the test never ends..."

"What was that?" Tina leaned in to hear Ed.

"...Nothing." Ed grumbled.

As they walked to the exam, Lexxa found it appropriate to start singing.

"_Oh, look at that tree!_  
_I think it's looking at me._  
_Perhaps you can see_  
_That tree is looking at me!"_

Then Tina decided to join in on her nonsense song.

_"Oh yes, I can see  
That tree, it's looking at me!  
I know what it must be,  
That tree is looking at you and me!"_

Ed just shook his head.

"You guys are so weird..."

"And proud of it!" Tina laughed maniacally. "Oh look, we're here."

"Ah, more perfect timing!" Lexxa remarked as they walked up to the building.

"So... yeah," Ed said awkwardly as he walked in.

"Don't fail!" Lexxa called after him.

"I'm sure you'll both do well! Good luck!"

"Good luck!" Nina and Amber yelled at them.

"Well." Tina said as the boys disappeared into the building, "We have lots of time on our hands. What shall we do?"

"We should just hang out here and act homeless," Lexxa suggested. "Or we can troll passersby."

"Why not do both? That sounds like fun."

"Okay!" The girls spent the rest of the afternoon creeping out innocent bystanders by asking them if they'd like to hug their potatoes.

Ed and Al finally walked out of the building, both looking tired.

"There's Ed and Al!" Tina said ran up to the boys. "How was the exam?"

Ed groaned, looking dejected, "I didn't finish and my wrist feels like a noodle."

Al wore the same expression, "I got through it, but next is the physical exam."

"I'm sure that you'll figure something, Al."

"So when's the physical one?" Lexxa asked.

"In a day." Al said sadly. "But I don't know what to do..."

"Don't worry, I'm sure everything will turn out fine." Tina smiled.

"Until then..," Lexxa started. "ICE CREAM!"

"YEAH!"

The boys were called away by Mustang. Tina looked at Lexxa.

"Shall we spy on them?"

"After you, Darling!"

The two girls left Nina and Amber to play in the grass as they snuck up to the alley and hid behind a corner.

"No! You can't say that, I've worked so hard for months! I'm not dropping out now!"

"If you want to go on without revealing your past, you have no choice."

"Poor Al..." Tina whispered.

"Man, I forgot how devastated Al was about this."

"Me, too."

"That's not good enough! I'm not getting split from my brother!"

"Easy Al," Ed said calmly. Al turned to face him. "You remember what Aunt Pinako said, right? State Alchemists are military, and are thrown into service whenever war breaks out. You have to do what they say, even hurt people for some good you don't understand. It means you're a dog of the state with a leash around your neck."

Al turned around fully. "But Ed..."

"One of us has to join to get what we need, but we both don't have to. Let me go alone, and I promise I'll fix things. Get us back the way we were."

Al just stood there, astonished. "Brother..."

"Wow... nicely done Ed." Mustang remarked.

The three of them made to move out of the alley.

Lexxa gave Tina a look that said, _We're not spying, we're chasing a squirrel._ Aloud she said, "Are you sure that it went this way?" She looked up in a tree as if in confusion.

"I was pretty sure it did..." Tina pretended to look around as the group came out of the alley.

"What are you looking for?" Al politely asked.

"There was a squirrel that ran this way, and we're trying to find it..."

"You're looking for a squirrel?" Roy looked a bit confused.

"Yes! Isn't that what I just said?"

Ed groaned, pinching his nose. "Let's just go home. I don't even want to try and figure out this."

Lexxa followed Ed and kept asking him, "Where's the cheese? Did you eat it?"

**So what do you guys think of the plot so far? I know, people being sent there and people from there being sent here is a little overdone, but other than that is it good? Wandy and I would love to hear your feedback!**


	9. The Confrontation

A few days later, they all gathered around the building to cheer Ed on. Nina gave Ed her picture.

"It's a circle to grant your wish!"

"Aww, isn't that cute?!" Tina gushed. "I know you'll do great Ed. Have fun!"

Ed looked at Tina oddly.

"What, do you not want some encouragement from Tina?" Lexxa asked teasingly.

"Yeah, why the odd look?"

"...Nothing. I better get going." Ed turned around and walked inside.

"I wonder why he's acting so oddly..."

"I think he sat on a cactus," Lexxa theorized.

"That would explain it... cacti hurt when you sit on them."

"I hope little big brother's okay..." Nina looked at the building from Al's shoulder.

"I hope no one sat on him..." Amber added.

Tina laughed, "He's not that small, girls. Not yet, anyways."

"Don't worry Nina." Al reassured the girls on his shoulder. "You gave him your circle, remember?"

"Besides," Lexxa started, "he's just being a Sour Puss right now. Give him a few moments."

A large paper balloon floated into the sky.

"Is the parade early?" Tina wondered aloud.

"Parade?!" Lexxa yelled. "I love parades!"

"Me, too!"

The balloon popped, rapidly going towards the ground.

"Aww!" Tina frowned, "Someone ruined the parade!"

"I like parades, though..."

Then there was a blinding light from the falling balloon.

"Ah!" Tina covered her eyes, "It burns!"

Everyone else covered their eyes as well.

"What _is _that?!" Lexxa yelled.

The light lessened, showing petals slowly falling to the ground.

"Magic flowers!" Nina and Amber watched as the petals fell to the ground.

Tina laughed, "Leave it to Ed to win with flower power!"

"Aw, don't say that!" Lexxa said. "That makes it sound like he's gay or something!"

"Or a hippie. You know, he has long hair..." Tina laughed again, "Nah, I'll just make fun of Ed for using flowers to become a State Alchemist."

"Because that's the most manly way to become a State Alchemist, right?"

"Oh, of course!"

"How do you know that brother did that?"

"I have a feeling." Tina smiled, "And there's Ed!"

Ed walked out of the building, a look of awe still on his face.

Lexxa ran up to Ed.

"How'd it go? You didn't fail, right?"

"I did it. I'm going to be a State Alchemist."

"Nicely done Ed!" Tina snickered. "Who knew that you'd win using flowers. That's not girly at all."

Ed looked at Tina.

"How'd you know I used flowers?"

"We saw the flowers, bro," Lexxa said without skipping a beat.

"Yeah, but how did you know it was me-"

"Whoa! Look at that!" Lexxa pointed in a random direction.

"What?" Ed looked in the direction of a bridge.

"SQUIRREL!" Tina went running in the direction Ed was looking.

"We must get it!" Lexxa yelled as she chased after Tina.

"What is wrong with those two?" Ed mused as he followed them slowly.

Tina tripped on the bridge, falling flat on her face.

"Ouch..."

Ed caught up with the girls.

"Tina...Lexxa..." he started.

"What?" Lexxa asked.

"Where are you guys from?"

"Mexico." Tina stated as she stood up.

"Are you lying?"

She looked at the ground. "No."

"You are lying!" Ed glared at her.

Lexxa looked from Tina to Ed, then back at Tina. She quickly ran away.

"Lexxa!" Tina faced an angry Ed.

"You were lying." He stated.

"Yes, I was lying." She sighed. "What are you going to do, sue me?"

"Why did you stop Nina at dinner so long ago?"

"Because Al doesn't have to eat."

"Did you say 'doesn't have to'?"

"I meant didn't want to."

Lexxa ran back with Al, who was followed by Nina and Amber.

"I brought him to help control Ed..," Lexxa explained to an agitated Tina.

"Yeah, that'll help." Tina looked a little relieved. "Thanks Lexxa."

"Where are you from?!" Ed grew more agitated.

"Not around here."

"What does that mean?!"

Lexxa looked at Ed.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes! I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know."

"Alright." Tina took a deep breath. "We'refromtheothersideoftheGate!"

"...What?" Ed couldn't understand what she said.

"...Nothing!"

"He has to know," Lexxa told Tina. "We can't just hide it from him forever."

"Hide what from me?!"

Lexxa took a deep breath and said, "We're from the other side of the Gate."

"... What?"

"On the other side of the gate, there's a story." Tina took a calming breath, "About two brothers who perform the ultimate taboo. That's how we knew that Al didn't have to eat."

Ed just stared at the ground. "So you've known what we've done? This entire time..."

Tina jumped behind Al. "SAFETY ZONE!"

Ed didn't look angry, though. Actually, he seemed confused and defeated. Lexxa took a step closer to him.

"What happened to us was Truth decided to be stupid and kidnap us from our families. He took us from our side and dropped us into your world. It doesn't affect me much. I didn't really have a close relationship with my parents and I'm an only child. Tina, on the other hand..."

Tina let her head fall forward, tears falling down.

"I have two little brothers. Twins, if you could believe it. They'll be six soon." She faked a little laugh. "That bastard, Truth, has an impostor in my place. A damned lackey of Truth is watching over my baby brothers."

Ed's expression softened as he realized that the demon lady wasn't so demonic after all. She had a family that she really cared about, just as he did.

"So," Lexxa said, breaking the silence. "Are we all good?"

"...Yeah. We're good."

"Good!" Tina brightened a little bit, "Because we're going to help you and Al get your bodies back!"

"Why do you want to help us?" Al asked, "Don't you want to find a way home?"

"Of course!" She smiled. "But you're family too. And I help my family."

"Besides, we're sure that Truth will send us back after he's had his fun," Lexxa said almost loathingly. She then brightened a bit. "So, until then we need to make the best of it."


	10. Killing Tucker Part 1

Tina smiled as Nina and Amber played in the front yard.

"They're so cute." She thought aloud, "But Tucker's exam's soon..."

Lexxa sighed. The two girls both knew what was coming.

"So," Tina looked around before whispering, "If I remember correctly, the day Ed comes here unconscious is the day Ed and Al are forced to leave. They come back that night, but Nina's already... yeah."

Lexxa nodded. She felt sick at the thought of what that stupid bastard did to Nina and Alexander.

"So, when Ed shows up, we'll hide. Then, when their all gone, we hide Nina. That way, the bastard won't hurt Nina." Tina nodded at her plan, "Yeah, that should work."

Lexxa nodded, unable to form words.

A car pulled up next to the gate, some men carrying Ed up to the house.

"Perfect timing. Yay." Tina's face was grim, "I think this is the only time I don't appreciate it."

Lexxa watched in silence. This was probably the only time when she was able to take things absolutely seriously.

Tina sighed, "We better go find good hiding places. If we're found, the whole plan's ruined."

Lexxa sighed and followed Tina to find some hiding places. She was right, after all. They needed hiding places.

"Who are you?"

Tina sighed as they slipped into their hiding places.

"Just in time." She muttered as she listened to the conversation below.

"What do you want?" Al asked.

"I don't know what Roy Mustang's been filling your head with, but the research of Shou Tucker falls under the jurisdiction of me!"

"The Brigadier General. So that's you." Ed said.

"The Sewing Life Alchemist is one of my top priorities, and I know you've been snooping around. I can no longer permit you two and your friends to take shelter at the Tucker estate."

After a bit of an argument, the boys left leaving Lexxa and Tina hiding.

"Thank god that worked." Tina sighed in relief, "They didn't find us."

She heard bits of the conversation between the General and Tucker.

"He's distracted." She slipped out of their hiding place, "Let's go find Nina now."

Lexxa nodded and followed Tina into the house. They found Nina in her room.

"Hey there, Nina," Lexxa said nicely.

"Let's play a game!" Tina smiled.

"What kind of game?"

"Hide and seek. We're gonna hide from your Daddy, and he has to find us. But you have to be absolutely quiet, okay?"

Nina nodded, grabbing Lexxa's hand.

"Good. We're all going to hide together, alright?"

"But won't Daddy find us easier if we're all together?" Nina whispered.

"Oh, no," Lexxa said. "It'll be harder for him to find us!"

Nina nodded as though this made perfect sense to her.

"Where are we going to hide?" she asked.

"Just follow us. We know the perfect hiding spot!"

The girls snuck back to their hiding spot, sighing in relief as the door shut.

"Now, we have to be extremely quiet." Tina whispered, "We don't want Mr. Tucker finding us."

The three sat in silence, listening for any sound. Footsteps echoed down the hallway, stopping outside their door.

"Nina! Where are you?"

Silence.

"Where could she have gone? Maybe in here..."

The doorknob shook, but the door didn't open.

Lexxa let loose a silent breath of relief. That was dangerously close.

Then they heard the jingle of keys on the other side of the door. Tina and Lexxa moved silently to cover up Nina from view of the door. If he was going to find them, they'd put up a hell of a fight.

There was a knocking on the front door. They heard Tucker sigh and footsteps go away from the door.

"That was close..." Tina whispered.

"Daddy's bad at this game," Nina whispered excitedly.

Lexxa looked at Tina. At least the innocent one didn't know what was happening.

"Hello Mr. Tucker!"

Tina's heart froze over. There was just no way...

"Hello Amber."

"Can Nina come out and play?"

"I don't know... why don't you come inside?"

"Okay!"

Tina looked at Lexxa, fear in her eyes. Amber and Ralph were down there with Tucker. Was he that desperate? Could he be?

Lexxa looked back at Tina. There was no way he could do that... It would be too hard to explain. Doesn't he know that?

"Amber, would you like to help me with my work?"

"Yeah!"

No. There was no way he could mean... Tina stood up, fists clenched.

"I'm going to see if it's safe. Nina, stay here and hide. I'll come back for you, alright?"

"I'll stay here with her," Lexxa said quietly.

Nina looked from Lexxa to Tina. She was suddenly aware that this wasn't just a game of hide and seek, but she didn't say anything.

Tina nodded, opening the door and sneaking out. She heard a clap and smiled, knowing the Elric brothers were here. She moved towards the sound.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? They could take away your license for this." Al's worried voice carried through the hall.

"If that's what it takes to prove me wrong tonight, then so be it."

She came out of another hallway, finding the boys.

She waved. "Long time no see, huh?"

Ed looked at Tina.

"How'd you get here?" he asked.

"Me and Lexxa hid out here. Tucker's been acting strange, so we hid Nina too."

Ed looked a bit relived but looked at her worried expression.

"Ed, he has Amber."

He just continued walking, Al and Tina following him into Tucker's lab.

Al had no idea what was going on, but he knew that Ed was onto something so he kept his mouth shut.

_**To be continued…**_


	11. Killing Tucker Part 2

"Over here!"

They walked past the creatures to make it to Tucker. His back was turned to them.

"I told you that you could see it..." He stepped aside to reveal a chimera, "A perfect replica, a chimera able to speak the human tongue!"

"No..." Tina shook in anger, but Tucker just ignored her.

"Why didn't I realize it before, the other one was too old to adapt!" He knelt down next to the chimera, "Darling, this is Edward. He's your friend."

"Edward... friend." The creature spoke.

"Yes, that's very good," Tucker praised.

"Very...good..." it repeated.

Al got excited about this and said, "That's unbelievable! It really _can _talk!"

Ed knelt down next to the chimera, letting it pull out his pocket watch.

"Edward... my friend."

"Yeah... that's right." Ed looked defeated.

"Edward... why does it... hurt here?"

Ed stood up, anger radiating off of him.

"Brother?"

"So Tucker, when was the first time you made one of these?"

"I thought I told you, two years ago."

"And when did your wife leave you?"

Tucker sighed.

"I hate the prodigies. They're too smart."

That's when Ed snapped.

"Ed, wait."

He turned to Tina, anger in his eyes. "Wait?! Don't you know that..."

"I know, Ed. I wanted to ask Mr. Tucker a question."

"What is it?"

Tina move forward, going past Ed and right to Tucker.

"Do those bruises on your face hurt?"

"What bruises?"

"The ones I'm about to give you!"

She launched forward, senselessly punching him.

"You bastard!" She yelled, "Why the hell would you do that to Amber!"

Al pulled Tina away.

"You can't just do that!"

"Why the hell can't she?" Ed yelled.

The chimera started whining.

"Don't... hurt him... little big brother... big sis..."

Tina just collapsed, tears rolling down her face.

"I'm sorry, Amber." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

Amber nudged her hand.

"Don't...cry..."

Tina sniffled, wiping away her tears and glaring at Tucker.

"It's a perfect transmutation, isn't it. We can't get her back to the way she was."

"No. You can't"

She stood up, clenching her fists.

"You better be damned lucky that Amber said not to hurt you..."

The General busted in, his men pointing their guns.

"What the hell's going on here?"

"This bastard used Amber to make a chimera!" Ed yelled.

"I'm gonna go get Lexxa and Nina. I'll be back, alright boys?"

Ed and Al nodded. She went to walk past Gran, but was stopped.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Well, General, I'm going to get my friends. I'll meet you up front. Now let me through."

"No. You're coming with me."

"No, I'm not. I told my friends I'd go get them. Do you think you'll stop me?"

Gran glared, "Fine, but two of my soldiers are accompanying you."

"Fine." Tina walked by him, ignoring the scrambling soldiers behind her.

Lexxa panicked a little bit when she heard footsteps coming her way. She held Nina's hand, making sure that she knew exactly where she was.

Tina stopped at the door, turning around to the two soldiers.

"Can you guys give me a little space? I'm not your prisoner."

The soldiers backed away a bit before she turned to the door.

"It's just me, girls. Just me."

Lexxa opened the door.

"Is it all over?" she asked. She didn't want Nina to see anything.

"Tucker's contained, but..." Tina looked at the ground, "Well, bruises we're exchanged."

Lexxa hugged Tina.

"You're okay, right?"

"I've been better." Tina sighed.

"Where's Amber?" Nina asked. "And Daddy?"

Lexxa could tell by Tina's expression what had happened.

"There... has been an accident," Lexxa said carefully.

"And Amber and Daddy have to go away for a long time." Tina sighed, then looked at Lexxa. "Granny Man wants us out front. We better go."

Nina looked like she didn't understand, but followed Tina and Lexxa out anyways.

They walked out, Nina holding the girl's hands.

"...Naturally, you are to tell no one what you saw tonight."

"What?!" Ed threw out his hands, "You wanna cover it up, don't you?"

He reached for the General, but was held back. Tina, however...

"Don't you dare cover this up!" Tina went to punch the General.

He turned, punching Tina to the gut. Then he did the same to Ed.

Lexxa tried to cover Nina's eyes before she saw anything, but it was too late. Nina passed out from the surprise.

Lexxa turned on Gran.

"You think this is funny?!" she yelled. "You just made a little girl pass out!" Gran responded by just walking away. Lexxa took a deep breath to calm herself. She didn't want to get punched in the stomach as well.

Ed got back up, "Damn it! I'm not gonna let them turn her into a test subject!"

He clapped his hands, using Alchemy to tip the truck over. The back doors opened, letting Amber get out.

"Amber!" Ed called, but she ran off.

Tina finally got up, looking at Nina. "She okay?"

Lexxa nodded.

"She just fainted from the shock. She'll be fine after she wakes up."

"Good."

Ed and Al went after Amber.

"Should we go check on them?" She asked Lexxa.

Lexxa shook her head.

"They should have some time to themselves. I'm sure they don't want us to see them in a few moments..." Sure enough the girls could hear Ed's loud sobs breaking through the stormy night as he looked at the remains of Amber.

**Just so you guys know, Wandy and I felt horrible while we were writing these last few chapters… We get overly attached to our extra characters!**


End file.
